Hello to anyone who still actually pays any attention to updates from me!
It has been an eternity. Still! I hope everyone is doing well!
It's been almost a year and a half since I last wrote a journal, and in that time I've rolled over my 6th anniversary milestone and somehow reached over 15k pageviews - which I'm surprised and thankful for. I never had anything planned for either of those, plus "The Art Block" is still very much in place. So, I have no clue what to do to celebrate...
I've also lost a few watchers since then, which is understandable considering how inactive I've been.
University ended up being a thing I was not able to do.
I wasn't in a very good place right from the get go and as I started not being able to keep up with my coursework I also began falling into depression. Eventually I lost motivation and became too anxious to ask for help with either my coursework or my mental health. Then in the middle of that year I became physically sick and stayed sick, with fluctuating degrees of severity, until I came home in October. I ended up failing most of my papers and I was still in a depressed state, so my family and I decided that I'd take some time off studying and work for my parents as a signwriter. Overall it was a pretty shit year.
Some good things did come from 2015 despite my academics and mental state.
I loved living in a hall of residence (a uni dorm) for instance! I was in a side house with 21 other people and it was like a family, it felt really great. Plus I had the privilege of being a fire warden in charge of people's safety and a master key. I enjoyed being able to help like that, and I'd gladly do something like it again. Also, this may lose me a few more watchers
, I decided that I wanted to be out when I left home. I've known that I'm not straight since six or seven years ago when I was 14, atm I've settled on the term pan/omnisexual, but I was at an all girls school; so I felt coming out then would be like loading the gun myself. It might be good to note that lgbtq support is essentially nonexistent in my hometown.
Anyway, I joined UniQ (the uni's lgbtq support club/group thing) where I met some wonderful people and that really helped me understand myself, gain a little more confidence, and lead me to where I am today. Currently I'm out and open with strangers, the majority of my friends, and social media which my family doesn't frequent (e.g. tumblr, twitter, and now here too). But I'm not out to most of my family, I only came out to one of my cousins about two months ago.
So yeah, not all bad~
Fast forward to now and I'm still working for my parents, I've learnt quite a bit and I get to do more stuff in the business; which is nice~ I have a lot of things that I could do, but I'm still not sure and haven't decided on anything other than more travel. I'm okay with that though.
I'm a lot happier and a lot less stressed than I was a few years ago. Although I still get very anxious or have panic attacks sometimes, I'm mostly able to deal with life. That's a whole world away from what I could do. So, for now, I'm happy with that.
I don't know when I'll create things again, but I have some good photos from when I went on holiday last year; so I'll probably gradually edit and upload them.
Thanks for sticking with me though all of this~